


Don't Let Go

by extra_plus_ordinary



Series: After Balance [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: After Balance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Why Did I Write This?, blupjeans, just some lup and barry fluff and a bit of angst for flavour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 08:19:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12055005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extra_plus_ordinary/pseuds/extra_plus_ordinary
Summary: "There's a small pause between them, these two people who have been together for a century because for a minute, they forget how it was to actually touch each other, to hold and grasp and kiss because it's been twelve years since both of them were corporeal and together."In which Lup finally gets her body back.





	Don't Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> So guess who updated her series instead of writing that Voltron chapter?
> 
> THIS GIRRRLLLLL

It was two forty seven AM when Lup got her body back.  
  
She was used to staring at her imperfect form through the long hours of the night, inspecting it from all sides to see why, exactly, she wasn't able to inhabit it yet.  
  
A missing bone here.  
  
A patch of flesh there.  
  
She watches her body, night after night after night, sewing itself back together from a mere kiss. She is still perplexed by the intricacy of both the magic and machinery that must have went into the construction of this thing. When she finally had a body, she thinks, she would break it down and figure out how it ticked.  
  
(Around 3 months later, she gets a strongly worded letter from the Raven Queen, telling her that no, she could not figure out how this machine worked and replicate it because it went against the laws of life and death, which was everything she stood for. Also, a century's pay would be cut.)

  
But for now, she busies herself by staring, if not at herself then at Barry, asleep on the bed that Magnus had made them (even though only one of them could actually use it). The cottage they had picked out for themselves was small and manageable, considering the fact that they were in Barry's old cave most of the time, finishing up projects and getting ready to move into one of Lucas Miller's labs that wasn't a form of aerial transportation (they were both, at the end of the day, still huge nerds.). After that...well, they were reapers, baby; it would probably be time to take the job more seriously.  
  
As of now, she was torn between looking at both herself and the love of her many lives, who was quietly snoring as he lay face up, sprawled on the bed (He used to sleep on his side, one arm draped around a shoulder she didn't have anymore, sometimes a leg pushed in between her own, wait, she didn't have legs anymore, _wait_ )  
  
Barry's body has grown thinner while she was away, worry and work having sculpted him into a rather muscular man, something that she persists to tease him about ("My nerd _does_ even lift!" "Shut up, Lup, _please_ ."). Since he sleeps shirtless most of the time, she's able to see his abs rising and falling with each breath. She wishes she could run her hands along them, watching the way his breath hitched and his muscles tightened as he stares at her in embarrassment and pleasure. She wishes but the only thing she can do now is wrap her robe around him, telling him that she's still here as he grips her robe, trying to breathe in her very essence as a substitute for her hands, her lips, her body-  
  
She feels a tug in her soul.  
  
She spins to see that there's a flashing green light on the console next to the pod, and she doesn't need to get closer to read the script under it to know was this means. She floats over, the hood of her robe level with her own head, and she pushes a bit of herself through the glass, testing to see if she's actually able to get in, to have a body again, finally-

  
She sees a bit of shadow, a hint of magic permeates through the glass and float up to her partly opened mouth, which twitches. It occurs to her that she should probably wake up Barry but she's too excited, too impatient, too _Lup_ to actually think of anything else but crashing through the glass, surrounding her body in magic and mist before feeling her soul constrict and her senses collapse, then expand as she fills this body, this vessel this Lup, and she, for the first time in twelve years, at two forty seven AM, takes a breath.  
  
Which is a bit hard to do when you're surrounded by green liquid.  
  
She grabs onto the edge of the open-topped pod and pulls herself up, feeling the sensation of muscle and bone working in harmony, of liquid splashing and sliding against her skin and as she perches on top of the pod, staring at the ground seven feet below. She nearly loses her balance because she can actually see, not sense but see with actual eyes and hands and body and for a second it's all too much. She closes her eyes and breathes in, out, in, out, focusing on her lungs expanding, her heart pumping at a regular pace until it trips up because she hears someone call her name.  
  
"Lup?"  
  
Barry has woken up, and is now reaching for his glasses as he struggles to see what looks to him to be a coloured blob on top of the pod. "Barry," Lup leans forward at the sight of him, she can finally see him and he looks beautiful-"Babe, I'm...!" She lets out a yelp as she slips from her perch and crashes to the ground, landing on top of her robe which does nothing to cushion the jarring pain that travelled up her spine (even this part she enjoys, because pain means that you're alive and she's alive, well and truly alive but _ow-_ ).  


"Oh shit, Lup!" Barry's at her side in an instant, crouching down and inspecting her for damage, his human eyes squinting and struggling to see in the dim light. “I'm fine, I'm fine,” Lup winces but laughs all the same, feeling the hearty rumble of it starting in her chest and shaking it's way out of her in a fit of wonder and joy. He looks up at this, and she turns to look at him and they both freeze, staring at each other as if meeting for the first time; the same way they looked at each other on the Starblaster, on the planet of the robots, in the Legato conservatory so, so many lives ago.  
  
She sees herself in his eyes, hair cascading down her back and covering part of her small face, her upturned eyes, her pointed nose, her small mouth that parted slightly every single time she looked at him just as it was now, and it's all she can do to say "Damn, I forgot how good I looked."  
  
Barry blinks, and a small smirk appears on her lips as she says "I'm about to smooch your heart out, babe."  
  
There's a small pause between them, these two people who have been together for a century because for a minute, they forget how it was to actually touch each other, to hold and grasp and kiss because it's been twelve years since both of them were corporeal and together. Even now, crouching beside each other in the dim light of the cottage they're apart, his knees are just barely brushing her thigh, her shoulder just missing his own.  
  
And so there's a pause.  
  
But then Barry cups his hands on either side of her face and Lup automatically moves her own to his wrists, and they lock eyes. Barry looks at her with questioningly, asking her, always asking her _May I?_ and her answer is always _Yes, please, yes._ He bends down, and she closes her eyes as she feels his lips brush the top of her forehead, the sides of her eyes, her nose, just relishing in the sensation of skin on skin. She concentrates, and soon she feels the light swipe of his lips barely touching her own, his own mouth parting in the realization that he was kissing her, actually kissing her, for the first time in twelve years. The swipe becomes a firm press, and now her arms are around his neck and his arms have moved to circle her hips and legs as he stands, carrying her small body. She sighs and leans against him, deepening the kiss, and for a minute she forgets that she's naked until the back of her knees are hooked around his forearm but that just makes the sensations all the more real, so much more realer than all the times he tried to hold her in her Lich form. They don't let go of each other even as he sets her down on the bed, climbing in with her and throwing the duvet over their heads.  
  
She can still see in the darkness, but chooses to close her eyes as their lips meet again, feeling tongue on tongue and teeth on lips. She can taste (finally, she can taste) the chamomile in the tea he had an hour ago, the chocolate he had hidden away for midnight snacks and all she think about is him, him kissing every part of her face and whispering her name like a prayer.  And her hands wander down his body, touching his neck, his chest, faltering at the quickstep she feels when her palm lies over his heart. And her hands continue, nails raking across his abdomen. His response is just as she dreamed, and he pulls away from her just as his breath hitches and his muscles tighten. She can feel his eyes on her, even though he can't actually see as he says "I love you,", and even though he's said that a thousand times a day for the past year it's somehow so much more meaningful now, right here, under the duvet of the bed Magnus made them because she can feel his heart pounding madly in his chest, keeping time with her own heart (oh, yes, she has a heart now-). She opens her mouth, feels the vibration of her vocal cords as she says "I love you too," and pulls him in for another kiss, tangling her hands in his hair, leaning into his arms as they trace circles on her waist.  
  
She feels his mouth stretch into a smile under her own, and as she moves closer to nuzzle his neck when she feels something wet brush against her cheek. She pulls away and brings up a hand to swipe her cheek, raising her fingers to her tongue. Salt.

 

“Barry?”

 

A muffled sob escapes her lover, and her hands find his face and his hand which he is using to cover his mouth. “Barold, what's wrong?” She feels the first stab of fear enter her body, a feeling that she was well acquainted with. It pierces her heart and mind, but she chooses to ignore her thoughts and focus on Barry, Barry who has always been by her side who is now crying even though she's back so she asks again.

 

Barry lets out a huge sigh before answering. “Nothing, it's just...Lup, I missed you _so_ much.” She murmurs something positive and he shakes his head slightly. “No, no, I know you missed me too but, Lup, every time I would get my body back, I would forget all about you. I’d forget and, even though it wasn't as bad as Taako, I...I’d lose a part of myself every time. And it was horrible.” She wants to tell him to stop, that she understood and that it was hell for her too, trapped in that small chamber but he keeps going and she keeps listening, caressing his cheek and his hair as he breathes. “I was always alone, always just following the instructions that I gave myself and it always felt like I was missing something or someone and, and it was just _lonely,_ God, I was so lonely!” He chokes back a sob and her arms go around his neck again and he pulls her towards him, pressing her against him as if she could protect him from the past, from memories that couldn't be erased. He continues. “And even when I was a Lich, I couldn't find you, you don't know how hard I looked for you, I thought that something had happened and you couldn't become a Lich when I saw Taako with your staff and I nearly lost control-”

 

She remembers that part, seeing Barry beginning to spark and twitch and unravel at the very seams when he saw her staff but not her in it. She remembers stretching herself out, throwing everything she had at the dark curtains that kept her from everyone, that kept her from him even as he screamed and raged and _unwound_ right in front of her and she remembers the fear, that bone chilling fear that he was going to leave her alone, the aching loneliness that came after he had calmed down and disappeared.

 

She feels a pain in her chest. At first, she's confused-there was no wound there. And then the pain travels to her throat and a ragged sound rips out of her, and it's only after Barry’s thumbs wipe her face that she understands that she's crying. She lets the tears fall and she tells him about being in the umbrastaff, the anger and fear and anxiety she felt while trapped in that hell of a chamber for a complete decade. She tells him how she kept sane by remembering him and Taako but mostly him, about the relief and concern she felt when she saw him in Lich form and her pure frustration at the fact that she couldn’t touch him or anyone else for the past year, and that she loved him, she loved him, she loved him. She tells him this and more as she cries and he comforts her, running his hands through her hair and down her back, whispering nothings and catching her tears with his lips, telling her that he loved her, he loved her, he loved her and they stay like that for a while as she composes herself, pulling back again and opening her eyes to look at his tearstained face with Darkvision.

 

She takes a breath, now all cried out and heaves a breathy laugh. “Dammit, Bluejeans…” her voice sounds hoarse and full of emotions that she was barely capable of processing a few minutes ago. “It’s literally been five minutes and we’re both crying.”

 

Barry laughs at this too, even though his voice was just as worse for wear as her own. “Aw, babe, did you miss me?” He teases and she sniffs, flicking his nose before kissing it. “Of course.” He wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her forehead, placing his chin on her head. She sighs and leans back into him, her ear resting right on top of his beating heart.

 

There are some jags of crying, comforting and kissing, but for the most part they lay there, caught between sleep and wakefulness as they hold each other close, hand in hand.

  


And they don’t let go.  


**Author's Note:**

> Yup so I have another one planned to post in like....maybe 2 weeks? School is hell but I love this fandom too much....like y'all I have another 3-4 fics planned


End file.
